Another “Planet Parade”: What Actually Happened Last Time
Plus this week’s Perseids peak and total solar eclipse
On August 11, 2026, another rare celestial event is happening: a “six-planet parade” involving Jupiter, Mercury, Mars, Uranus, Saturn, and Neptune. Additionally, the Perseid meteor shower is peaking. And on August 12, we have a new moon and a total solar eclipse. Professionals and amateur astronomers could not ask for more!
The events are real, but any inferences drawn from them are pseudoscience. But here is the problem some people may be unaware of: a pseudoscience can transform into a self-fulfilling prophecy if enough people believe it and, more importantly, those who make key decisions, including, but not limited to, politicians, economists, and important business people. This is not just a fact; it’s a scary fact.
Many years ago I knew someone who was in the “business” of astrology, a very intelligent person with a high IQ. After many invitations to receive that “free” personal astrology chart, I finally visited his impressive office. He was quite busy when I arrived, and I waited for him to finish what he was doing while looking at the expensive art on the walls. After he finished, he turned to me and told me that he had just emailed several pages of analysis to a politician. I believed him because it is an indisputable fact that some politicians consult astrologers. He made a chart for me, and since then I have not talked to him.
It is clear to me that astrology is pseudoscience, but I am also convinced that a significant chunk of modern physics is also pseudoscience. What is important is not the nature of the science but how it drives key decisions. I am convinced that some politicians use astrologers; they always have.
Let us now return to the three major celestial events of today and tomorrow: A “parade” involving six planets, a total eclipse, and the peak of the Perseid meteor shower. Isn’t this the better opportunity to deliver another blow to Iran? I’m asking because the last time the US attacked Iran was on February 28 of the year, and guess what? The most recent “parade” of six planets involving Mercury, Venus, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune occurred on February 28, 2026, on the day the US attacked Iran. It’s probably a pure coincidence…
Now, my followers may ask, why is a quantitative market analyst looking at celestial events? It’s a valid question. Here is why: although quants make forecasts of returns using technical features, there are drivers of these features. We can use the drivers in the form of statistical “dummy variables.” Blindly following price and technical indicators can lead to significant losses when major events occur.
I would like to emphasize again that astrology is pseudoscience, as is a big chunk of market technical analysis. The problem is that many market participants are influenced by pseudoscience and often turn it into a self-fulfilling prophecy. Issues become more complex when those who make important decisions also factor in pseudoscience.
Probably nothing will happen this week due to all those celestial events, and astronomers will have fun. Astrologers will respond by claiming that nothing happened because there were some “positive planet aspects.” There is always a way out, as in classical technical analysis.
If you want analysis from someone who has actually lived through several market cycles, has credentials that include four books published since 1999, has many peer-reviewed articles published in trading publications, and can effectively combine quantitative skills with market analysis, then you are in the right place.
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Back in the 90’s when I was buying an SGI workstation (a $20k machine) the sales rep told me about how he just sold a more expensive one to an astrologer. The astrologer had coded up a system and needed the high performance to make the calculations.
The astrologer must have been doing well.
"He made a chart for me, and since then I have not talked to him." !!